I’m a motivational speaker and I’ve taken an oath (not really, but I would) to help others embrace their fears and get off their big buts.
When my friend strongly suggested WE both run a 5K on May 12th, I sheepishly and reluctantly said “OK”. I could tell that running this 5K was extremely important to her and I know it would be good for me too.
Here’s the problem. I don’t run. I run the vacuum cleaner, I run the dishwasher and I run my mouth. But, I don’t run 5 Ks. Frankly, I have no doubt that I could . . . IF I WANTED TO.
But, right now I don’t want to. There I said it. Despite all the evidence that it is doable and that it would be good for me and that I would feel great . . . I don’t want to do it.
BUT there are my BUTS . . .
So why did I say yes? Here are a few of the reasons.
- I didn’t want to let my friend down.
- I want to be a person who would run a 5K.
- I might just be afraid of doing something scary.
These were the reasons that came up for me; reasons I should says yes. And believe me; I thought about it a lot. I wanted to run with one of these reasons and be the person I thought I should be. But I’m not going to.
Why? Because I have some other thoughts running around in my mind
1. There’s that saying about leading a horse to water but you can’t make him drink. Doing something big and bold takes tremendous effort so WANTING to do it is a crucial piece. If that’s missing, you’re off to a very rocky start. And like I confessed earlier; I don’t want to do this.
2. I’m taking my own advice: “If it’s not a hell yes, then it is a No.” I ain’t feeling it NOW. I might one day, I might tomorrow…but, my truth is now is not the right time.
3. Sometimes doing things for others is the right thing to do…and sometimes it’s not. My life is full…really full. With two kids with extraordinary needs, running my own business, traveling all the time, then add a dollop of some family drama…you have a packed life. I simply don’t have the energy (desire) to spend significant time on something simply for someone else. Ouch…that makes me feel bad…but it’s also true. I’ve coached too many clients to take care of themselves first, to not take the same advice myself. Sometimes saying “no” to someone is saying “yes” to yourself.
This situation isn’t really about a 5K or running or pushing myself . . . I do scary, hard things all the time. This opportunity came to me as a real reminder that thinking of MY growth, my wholeness, my development first is okay.
Again . . . life has presented me with another belief of mine that needed to be examined. To grow requires the constant effort to break out of my old mindsets.
And, yes one day I may run a 5K…but for now I’m going to run my life the way that I need and want it to run.