“If you have time to whine and complain about something, then you have time to do something about it.”
~Anthony J. D’Angelo
Have you ever had something happen that you are unhappy about? (Of course you have!) But then you tell your story over and over to anyone who will listen, reliving this horrible thing and perpetuating the cycle.
To begin the change process you have to begin by letting go of your stories.
One of the most helpful tips I’ve heard comes from Caroline Myss, spiritual healer and author. She encourages people to give a limited amount of air time to their stories. When I say stories here I’m referring to things that happen like. “I got cheated by that store clerk…again!” or “There goes another relationship…I seem to attract such losers.”
When negative things happen to us she recommends we share it with others three times then put it to rest. Tell “it” three times then LET IT GO.
Why is this so important?
Well, one of the reasons our mini-stories morph into our gi-normous, hairy, unsightly stories is that we keep giving them fuel. Talking about the so-called evidence over and over and over again allows these stories to fester and bury themselves into our brain like ringworm. GROSS.
We give energy to the negative and guess what we get? More things happening to us which prove our story is true.
So we have to stop it. Martha Beck calls this tendency to go on and on about things “story fondling.” And story fondling can feel quite wonderful at first . . . then it simply keeps us down. After reliving this yucky thing a couple of times in order to process through something it just becomes unnecessary and hurtful.
So quit fondling your story. Kvetch three times then let it go already!
Cheri is a speaker, trainer, coach and has authored two books. She helps people and organizations break out of old mindsets so they can lead happy, motivated and fired up lives. She blogs to ignite you and help you get unstuck!