But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads?
Disharmony is the lack of agreement. Imagine a band where everyone is playing a different song all at the same time. What a mess! Believe it or not, I’ve sat through some “music” like this and made me wish for some ear plugs and a margarita . . . stat!
Disharmony can sound pretty awful but what does it look like?
Discord, friction, strife, conflict, hostility, acrimony, bad blood, dissension, feuding, quarreling and more.
In contrast, harmony is when things are in agreement; like a well-rehearsed orchestra. It sounds delightful and can look even better. Listening to this kind of music makes you feel joy, exhilaration, or exuberance. It looks like:
Peacefulness, amity, amicability, friendship, fellowship, cooperation, understanding, consensus, unity, sympathy, rapport, like-mindedness and more.
Ok, which of these do you want in your life? More importantly, which do you have now?
Many of us are putting up with disharmony in our lives. It might be within our family, within the teams or employees we work with and, for most of us, we may experience disharmony within our own minds. Yikes!
Why is this?
In a word . . . it is our mindset.
Yep . . . disharmony happens when what we think should be happening is not happening or vice versa. Another way of saying this is we create specific attitudes (or beliefs) about how things should be working. If things are not the way we think they should be, we experiences conflict . . . or dissension or fatigue and frustration. And the list could go on and on.
Left undealt with, this disharmony can turn into a big ole hairy mess!
Here’s what I’m talking about. Imagine a team of people are in disagreement about the priorities for the project they are working on. Or they differ on how funds to allocate money in the budget or even what skills the new hiree needs to possess. While it’s true, a bit of disharmony brings about a better result in many cases, when this disharmony is ignored (or everyone pretends that it’s not there and allows it to fester) disharmony becomes the norm.
The result? The work and the people doing it become inefficient. People start spinning their wheels, become argumentative and are at high risk of burnout.
You can also have disharmony in your very own mind! This happens when part of you wants one thing and another part of your wants something entirely different. For example, part of you wants to grow your business in one way and another part of you is drawn to a different strategy. This causes disharmony. Or another example: part of you knows you should be starting an exercise and healthy eating plan and another part of you loves to eat cheeseburgers and watch TV! This results in some major disharmony.
So what do you do when you have disharmony?
Here is the down and dirty version.
1. You do an assessment of where you are now INCLUDING YOUR MINDSET. This means inventorying what you are doing as well as what you are thinking and feeling.
2. Then, clearly and specifically define where you would rather be.
3. Now, look at the differences between these two places. What is missing? What is there that needs to change? Etc.
4. Then make a plan. This is a big step but in essence you start Kickin’ Buts and get your butt in gear by taking new action!
Disharmony is painful and wastes time and energy to boot. With just a few tweaks and some redirected energy you can change your tune.
Need some help with this (and most people do)? Check out my coaching packages and quit wasting time and money and energy spinning your wheels and tolerating disharmony. Get everyone (and every part of you) singing the same song!
Cheri is a speaker, trainer, coach and has authored two books. She helps people and organizations break out of old mindsets so they can lead happy, motivated and fired up lives. She blogs to ignite you and help you get unstuck!